The Teme and His Dobe
by A Warped View Of Reality
Summary: What does Naruto say to Sasuke's fangirls to make them sucicidal? And why is Sasuke looking at Naruto like that... sasunaru because it rocks - not to be taken too seriously


"Sasuke-kun!" Oh god. Not _again_. Yet, as Sasuke turned slowly, terror in his eyes plainly visible, he saw _her_. All five foot four of pink-headed kounichi, brandishing a large stick of candyfloss. God knows where she got it.

"Run, teme!"

Ah yes.

Running.

What a good idea.

"B..but that would be running _away_!"

"Well I don't recommend running _towards_ Sakura-chan in the mood she's in." The dobe said this affectionately, and Sasuke glared at him. "Just go." Sasuke was at the end on the street before he heard Naruto add, "Teme." Sasuke's smile as he sprinted away, could only be described as blinding.

*

"Uh...Sakura-chan won't be bothering you anymore." Sasuke gaped at Naruto who was shuffling nervously on the Uchiha's doorstep. "None of the girls will, actually."

"What did you do..." Relived as he was, anything that could make the dobe seem so anxious couldn't help but worry Sasuke too.

But he was distracted at that moment by a parade of girls all draped in black, despite the hot weather, that were progressing slowly up the road. Most worryingly, the pink locks and head of white-blonde hair were all too obvious amongst them.

"There he is!" A strangled shriek from Ino, blue eyes red-rimmed and wild. But, to Sasuke's astonishment, the trembling finger was aimed at a terrified Naruto.

The girls charged.

Naruto squeaked and hid behind Sasuke.

"What's going on?"

"Well..." Naruto gulped and licked his lips, "I kinda told them that-"

"Sasuke-kun! How _could_ you?" Sakura cried out in a voice that shook with emotion, "I mean, we've all _known_ that you aren't the _straightest _of guys, but _him_! How could you do this to me?" Sasuke remained quiet throughout this. The he looked over his shoulder, down at the quivering, crouched form of Naruto who was staring up at Sasuke with wide, beseeching eyes.

"You _are..._gay, aren't you, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked hesitantly, edging forward with a look of positively glowing hope.

"Uh..." Naruto mumbled, standing slowly, still using Sasuke as a human shield, an shot nervous glances between his teammates.

"Yes." Both Naruto and Sakura stared at Sasuke and gasped, though Naruto's was delayed until Sasuke hooked an arm around the younger boy's waist and pulled Naruto against him. "I am. _We_ are."

Sakura looked like a goldfish that had swum into the walls of its bowl too many time. Naruto was still blinking rapidly, and looking remarkably like an over-excited mole.

Sasuke couldn't help it; he laughed. Doubled over, shaking and clutching his sides kind of laughter. Then he was rolling around on the floor, grinning widely up at Naruto who began to smile too before a startled yelp erupted from him as he found himself on the ground by Sasuke. Suddenly, instead of attempting to rip Naruto limb from limb, Ino _cooed_. Everyone stared.

"What? They're _cute_." Sakura moved to her rival's side, tipped her head and looked at the teenage boys contemplatively.

"I see what you mean..."

Naruto looked scared. Sasuke smirked.

"_KISS_!"

It was as if every girl in Konoha was suddenly there, hands clutched to chests, gazes eager and mouths agape in anticipation.

Sasuke sat up, looking down at Naruto, still with that confident, arrogant smirk plastered across his face.

"Sasuke..." Naruto moved his head back, only to find the ground in his way. The Uchiha glanced back at the gleeful girls and, in one swift movement, placed his hands of the floor either side of Naruto's face and straddled the blond.

Naruto squeaked.

Sasuke leant down and whispered in Naruto's ear, "Just relax." Then the dark-haired teenager drew back and looked into those blue eyes, that seemed remarkably calm and trusting. Quickly, to distract himself from the look in Naruto's eye, Sasuke slammed his lips onto the blond's. To Sasuke, it was a selfish and greedy kiss; his taking advantage of his friend/arch enemy who he happened to have a crush on. But Naruto, judging by his enthusiastic response, loved every second of it, much to Sasuke's astonishment.

The girls were shrieking ecstatically. One had even fainted, much to Sasuke's amusement. But then he looked back down at Naruto who was staring upwards, a blissful grin on his face. Sasuke had him inside the house in seconds.

"Teme!" A half-laughing squeal.

"Dobe? Shut up."


End file.
